I Listen to Justin Beiber Now

what are you up to these days? what are you up to now? are we strangers for forever? or are we strangers for now?

New decision, no more discussion of how infrequently my updates and notes have been... when i'm feeling it and remembering my login and password i will do this... when i'm not i will not it's simple.

it's been difficult finding a balance, things are very unbalanced, but i move along and scratch my eyes with the ever optimistic hope that soon enough the dates will arrive and order will be restored. if you had told me in middle school when i was all about Linkin Park that i would one day in my late twenties would be worried about a deadline staring at large screens figuring out commas while blasting Hybrid Theory i wouldn't believe you, but then again why would you tell me that? 

i will leave you with this

you're limousines get stuck in traffic.

fin (for now)


I've been adulting since 2009 and before that i was anxiously concerned about adulting. I got an early start in adulting and am finally starting to feel the weight of it. Adulting is a term my friend came up with to describe the life that comes with working a full time professional job, buying homes, planning for retirement, paying bills, and worrying about aging parents. 

I've been overwhelmed for what seems to be this entire year (which is clear from the frequency of updates on this website [i'm trying!]) and it has caught up with me. It's hard when you don't know what you want, i have likes and dislikes of course but i don't have some burning passion in me for something specific. I have so many hobbies and i want to learn just about everything and travel just about everywhere, but it seems as though the society we live in does not appreciate or reward the generalist, everyone wants the specialist and when you don't have a direction to specialize in it feels like you're stuck in neutral. 

Ramble ramble ramble ramble it's all relative (first world problems are still problems).

I miss my spark, i'm really trying hard to find it back, maybe you can relate.